The last week of October was quite monumental for me. My grandfather died. I am fine and my family is fine. He'd been sick for a while, but it still hurt. It was the first time I had ever experienced the death of someone close to me as an adult. It really made me see how swiftly life passes. It made me realize how we wallow so hard in our own self pity that we forget about the world around us. There is so much going on and everything is moving so fast that we forget to slow down, take a moment, and help others in any way we can. We don't have a lot to give, but we should give what we have. Giving makes us open to receive gifts, and friends, and moments.
I realized every moment I spent with my grandfather was a special one. When he died I got a little down for a while. It made me understand some things:
- I knew it was a great time for a blog, it would help me deal with the emotions I was feeling.
- Others were feeling the same way, because it was during this time I got the text from my friend requesting I write a blog on depression.
- I could absolutely relate to how depressed people felt. The darkness was calling my name, I kid you not.
I knew I needed to deal with these feelings. I could have easily gone to a doctor and asked for a perscription, saying to myself and to him, "I need something to cope." However, that is not what I suggest you do. One suggestion is get involved. For me, I knew I had to volunteer later that week, I had people depending on me to help them. It also gave me something to look forward to. There is something in being needed that makes your endorphins flow. It literally makes you happier to be a part of something that is bigger than you. You learn a lot about yourself when you volunteer. It is knowing that you are there for something other than yourself. It is the changing of your perspective. It is giving. Medication just covers the symptoms, it does not deal with the problem. You must learn to deal with your problems. If you wouldn't pick up a liquor bottle everytime you felt you couldn't deal with the pains of life, why would you pop a pill?
I understand the need to take a mental break sometimes. I understand the fact that you cry and get upset; I do too. I want you to take this with you -you can't let these "issues" stop you in your tracks and cause you to sink. Have you ever seen an anchor hold down one of those cruise ships? You cannot let your problems become your anchor. Deal with your problems one at a time. You know the old addage, "Rome wasn't built in a day?" or "Don't bite off more than you can chew?" Prioritize and deal with the biggest issues first. Sometimes you may have to break those big problems up into bite-sized peices. Remember, people understand how you feel. Most people have been there and will help in any way they can. Once you start giving, people will give to you.
With the Holidays here, it is a perfect time to give. Give a waitress an extra good tip, or give a kid a basketball. Give free piano lessons, a shoulder to cry on, or clothes to good will. It dosen't matter what you give, and you don't need a reason and an excuse to give. It really warms my heart this time of year to see how wonderful people are and how freely they give. I just wish we would find an "excuse" all year long. That would be nice. You could start giving now and give a little something all year long and we could start the trend; a pay it forward type of thing. Get involved. Volunteer at a children's home, or homeless shelter. Life is not just about you. And I think the sooner we learn that as a country and as a human race, the better off we will be.
You have to get up. You can't stay there forever. Things will change when you change.
Homework: Add 1 Cup of giving, by doing something nice for a stranger. (Pay it Forward)