It simply amazes me how ghosts from your past will slowly creep into your present and future. As soon as you believe you have put those monsters behind you, you are walking along minding your own business. All of a sudden, you see a shadow, you turn around, and what do you know...It's the Zombie of Yesteryear! I can think of several of thoses instances. Some with me and others with friends. How do we put the past behind us and move on to our bright beautiful futures?
Remember why you made the choices you did. You must also remember when it comes to looking back on the choices: you made the decision you did based on the information you had at the time. You can't blame yourself for the decision, you just have to take it as a learining experience and move forward. Every choice you make has a consequence, and you may be living the result of that choice, but you ordered it; you eat it.
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward." -C.S. Lewis
Never look back. A very good friend of mine has a husband who is fighting cancer. He has been for about a year now, and after the diagnosis, she has never looked back. I have never heard her say, "if this had not happened to us..." or "I remember when..." in reference to his cancer. She has taken the hand she has been dealt and handled it like Annie Duke. She has not complained or sulked. I admire the strength and confidence she has in her saga especially since she is going through this the second time. I'm not saying never looking back is easy, I'm just saying continue to move forward. When you drive a car you look forward, why wouldn't you when you are living your life?
“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”–Walt Disney
Embrace Change. The harder you resist the harder it seems to be. At least that's the way it seems. Just relax and enjoy the moment. Remember change is not always a bad thing. Change comes when you least expect it, and that's what makes it so wonderful. We're never bored with life, something new is always coming at us from any direction; so keep your eyes open! When we embrace change we are letting our inhibitions and fears go and just living in the moment, smelling the roses so to speak.
Trust Yourself. All in all you have to at least Believe you made the right choice. I know a lot of the time we have no idea what we're doing as we walk down this street called Life. We're just living by faith and hoping that the choices we make are right. In the end, that's all you can do. Believe in yourself and trust that you did what was best for you at the time. When the monsters start trying to come from under the bed, because you trust yourself, you will believe they have no reason to exist and therefore they won't. You can confidently say to your monster, "I trust I did the right thing, and you don't belong here."
"There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life." -Joseph Campbell
We cannot let our past dictacte our future. We have to learn how to let the problems of the past stay in the past. The past should only affect our decision making process. In other words we should learn from our mistakes.
"We find by losing. We hold fast by letting go. We become something new by ceasing to be something old." -Frederick Buechner